I hope that the one new year's resolution on your list will be to heal in 2020: mentally, physically and to find spiritual fulfillment. What caused you pain in the past may not have been your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal. It is your responsibility to forgive (both yourself and others), to find peace within yourself and to learn to live in the present moment.
This may seem like a tall order to you, but it is truly as simple as starting with the decision to heal. There are many resources available to help you on this journey to healing. One that I can highly recommend is Caroline Myss' book Why People Don't Heal and How They Can, which is also available as an audio book.
The one thing I am certain of after all these long years in private practice, is that everyone has the ability to heal themselves.
This is my wish for you for 2020: May you find true healing within yourself and make 2020 one of the best years of you life.
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Unfortunately, the only way to stop comparing yourself to others is through hard work and consciously deciding not to do it when the need arises. This takes time: bear in mind you have been comparing yourself to others for years, maybe decades. It won't take you years to "unlearn" this self-destructive habit, but with dedication and perseverance you'll be amazed at how quickly you can improve.
What makes this process of "unlearning" easier, is to get some perspective. I came across a truly brilliant article by James Clear, where he talks about the wisdom of Martha Graham. For those of you who don't know who Martha is (neither did I before James Clear introduced me): she is the ballet choreographer equivalent of Pablo Picasso (hopefully you'll know who he is).
To quote Martha from James Clear's article:
It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions.
To give you some quick context: The quote above was taken out of a larger quote where Martha gives advice to a friend. The friend was expressing her frustration to Martha as to why the world regarded work of hers she thought was amazing as just mediocre. And we all do this. We achieve something or do work we think is brilliant and then the feedback we get from other people is disappointing.
I too, on a daily basis, experience this pitfall of feeling "not good enough". I encourage you to go and read James Clear's full article as I found it very inspiring and it gave me some much needed perspective.
At the end of the day: Just do your best. You have a wonderful part to play in this lifetime, even if you feel insignificant, because you are not: You never have been and you never will be. You are amazing, you are talented, you are unique and you are SIGNIFICANT.
If you still need some inspiration after reading James Clear's article, I can highly recommend Louise Hay's renowned book You Can Heal Your Life, also available as an audio book.
Today I make a pledge to myself to stop comparing myself to others. I won't succeed fully by tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe even next week. However, I assure you, that with practice we will win this fight.
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I heard about intermittent fasting from social media, in particular a Facebook group called "Intermittent Fasting Lifestyle". This group has proved really helpful in my personal journey with experimenting with intermittent fasting (IF) as a possible lifestyle for me. I have moved in the 60's plus category regarding age, as all those will know that find themselves in this category, your body develops pains and aches it never knew before. I also developed an auto-immune disease and I was looking for extra solutions after reading Amy Myer's excellent book (also available as an audio book). This book on IF also proved insightful.
I have had some good results since I started with IF officially 158 days ago: I've seen some weight loss and I can report that my aches have reduced and I have a lot more energy. However, I still have a long way to go before I reach my goal of ultimate health, energy and vitality.
A lot of my patient's (please see this video that explains why I use the term "patient" as a psychologist) have commented on my results, as most of them see me weekly at most and some a few times a year. Many have commented on my results, saying that I "look good and healthy". To be honest, I am feeling better and healthier.
I decided to write a post that includes some of the resources that I have consulted in my quest to educate myself about IF as many have asked me to share these resources, and I hope that you will find some of these helpful. I will include the links below for your reference.
PLEASE CONSULT YOUR MEDICAL PRACTITIONER BEFORE you make any drastic health changes regarding your diet and medication, this is of the utmost importance. We, as human beings, cannot function efficiently mentally, if physically we are suffering. My recommendation is to only try IF for yourself with the supervision of your doctor.